I am afraid. A lot.
When I went into labor with my daughter, I was more afraid
than I had ever been in my life. I couldn't really even put my finger on what
exactly I was afraid of.
The pain. A hospital. What if something was wrong with the
baby?
There was a whole mess of things to be afraid of.
"Courage, dear heart."
As silly as it may seem, comfort came to me in the form of
three little words from C.S. Lewis' The Voyage of the Dawn Treader. In this
book, a young heroine named Lucy is in a very dark place... literally. She
can't see even an inch in front of her nose. She and her friends are hopelessly
lost and beyond frightened. Yet, in this darkness, Lucy hears the familiar
voice of Aslan the lion using his sweet pet name for her, calling her to be
courageous.
Figuratively, I was in this dark place. I couldn't see past
the fear of labor to the joy of finally holding my newborn in my arms. And then
I heard those words.
I knew that in that moment God was calling out to me to pull
me out of my fear. So, I began to pray. I prayed through most of my labor.
Through the nurse's spastic orders. through my curious family bobbing in and
out of the delivery room, through pushing and pushing until I didn't think I
could push any more, God had a hold of my mind. And then there she was.
God pulled me through the darkness of fear so I could gaze
upon this little ray of sunshine.
I don't tell you this story to make myself seem like some
hyper-spiritual super-mom who prayed so devoutly while she was giving birth. I
tell you this story as a testimony and as evidence to what true courage is.
I am just realizing that courage is not some innate
personality trait only a select few are born with. Courage is not something
that can be mustered up by your sheer willpower. Courage is a gift.
So often, the worries get really loud and overwhelming
because, let's face it, worry is just the voice of your fear. But God is much
more boisterous that any worry. He has the roar of a lion calling out over the
fear. That ringing in your ears, the echo bouncing around in your brain is Him
pulling you back into His comfort.
That's what courage is: peace in the chaos. God, my sweet
Father, sees me in the middle of the fray and He arms me with HIS truth,
righteousness, gospel, faith, salvation, and with HIS word. (Ephesians
6:13-17). And after He arms us, He calls us to turn our minds toward Him.
"...praying at all times in the Spirit, with all prayer and
supplication. To that end keep alert with all perseverance, making supplication
for all the saints..." (Ephesians 6:18)
Courage in God is replaying the gospel in your mind like
your favorite song, over and over again. Courage is being ready to pray
endlessly because you're equipped for it. Courage is the comfort offered by
your God-given defenses.
In John 16, Jesus described to His disciples what life would
be like without Him. He tells his friends that they will be killed for
following Him by people who think they are doing God a favor. If the thought of
your mentor and best friend leaving you to be murdered by your enemies doesn't
induce fear, I don't know what will. But then Jesus tells them about the Holy
Spirit who will come and give them the inheritance of Jesus Christ: eternal
life. This is the courage of the disciples.
"I have said these things to you, that in
me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart;
I have overcome the world." (John 16:33)
So, beloved, take heart for He is always with you. The Lord
is always available to your trembling hearts. He has already overcome your
fears. Be courageous only in Him.

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